Where the Glass is half full of Shit

Friday, April 16, 2010

Blame it on the Train

NJ Transit commuters were dealt a major blow after its board green lighted a plan to increase fares by a whopping 25 percent–the largest fair increase in the history of system–for rail and commuter bus lines. Worse yet, it seems as though the plan includes gutting off peak discounts for commuters who choose to ride during non busy periods. The monstrous fare hike is scheduled to take effect May 1st.

Would it help if I informed governor Christie that commuters don’t use the train to teach New Jersey’s schoolchildren and prepare them to be better citizens?

Governor Christie’s madman quest for savings and fulfill his campaign pledge of bringing NJ out of insolvency with fierce fiscal responsibility seems to overlook the roughly 380,000 hard-working, tax paying citizens of NJ who rely on NJ transit to commute to work on a daily basis. Moreover, in his support for this massive fare hike Gov. Christie fails to see the obvious consequences that are surely follow the fare hike. For example, this tiny little recession thingy in which our country is still very much ensnared. Therefore, this increase is nothing short of a "turnstile tax,"unduly thrown onto the laps of the poor and working-class families of New Jersey and blatantly overlooking the great many NJ residents who have no choice but to take the bus and train to get to where they're going.

But it isn’t just the wallets of NJ citizens during hard economic times that factor into this fare hike.

For instance, in his blind search for savings Governor Christie may have also overlooked the fact that a major fare increase will lead to less ridership and more motorists on the road, thus creating more pollution and congestion.

One commuter, for example, predicted that the fare hike would prompt more people to jump into cars.

"When the cost of gas hit $4 a gallon in 2008, people drove less," he said. "When the cost of transit goes up 25 percent this year, fewer people will ride transit. This will put more commuters onto our highways, which are already over-crowded."

Indeed, commuters who can't absorb this egregious fair hike during already rough economic times might instead choose to drive.

On the fare Hike, Governor Christie had the following to say:

“I feel badly for those folks that are impacted by it, but this is the mess I was left with and I am not going to clean it up by putting under the rug, which has been done over and over again for the last two decades in New Jersey.”

In sum, if Governor Christie is so bent on closing the 300 million budget gap and if he really ‘feels bad,’ then perhaps he can take a 25 percent pay cut in his salary. Of course that would be the noble thing to do, although nobility and politics go together like Tiger Woods and monogamy.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Get your very own talkshow on Fox News

In case you ever pondered to yourself how any respectable school of journalism or any institution of higher learning could bequeath a Fox News personality with a degree and how any employer with more than two brain cells could generously employ them, here's what you need to know.

To be a female Fox News talking head:

Blond and leggy, ridiculously well-coiffed bored, contemptible Orange County housewife with teeth that are more bleached than your hair. Spout as many overly simplistic talking points as your paramecium sized brain can remember. Love small town America and hate Michelle Obama and her arms. Most important, be sure that you're wearing more make-up than a dancer at a GOP strip club fundraiser


To be a current male Fox News talking head:

Severely bi-polar, doom-prophesying, barely literate angry white guy full of painkillers. Have the emotional equivalent of a 13 year old teenage girl just grounded on Prom or the mental equivalent of a great big fat kid frying ants with a magnifying glass. Never listen to any of your non planted guests and be sure to let them know that they are Stalinist/Nazi/fascists.

To be a classic male Fox News talking head:

Stuffy, uncaring, greedy washed up wall street baron country club Republican from the 80s who was too absolutist moralist for coke. Treat the smallest efforts at regulation as a coup de' tat and never, NEVER mention that Bush was president during the financial meltdown and that perhaps his administration played a role.